Archive for the ‘ General Nerdery ’ Category
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More baseball nerdiness.
The second day of free agency saw a few acquisitions, however several teams quieted down after making moves on day one.
“Things went unimaginably bad for the Even Stevens” commented one league executive. Francisco Cordero bolted and every other Free Agent they had interest in signed with a team just before they had a chance to talk with them. This could be a rebuilding year for them.”
Also standing pat were King Bedard!, Bo Still Rules!, Griffey Rules, and Team # 10.
Sultans of Swing
SoS GM Peter Anspach, still reeling from the loss of Mariano Rivera, and having narrowly missed signing Jorge Posada made a splash by signing outfielder Aaron Rowand.
“I had A-Row, that’s what I call him – he hates that, into my office and told him to sit down.” said Anspach. “I looked him straight in the eyes and said ‘The bad news is that Posada, Cordero, and Rivera aren’t playing with us next year, and I didn’t even get a chance to talk with [Torri] Hunter or [Mike] Lowell. But we’ve got an option to pick you up, so I guess you’re it.’”
The only catch – Rowand was a free agent. There was no club option to retain him.
“Pssh. He doesn’t pay attention to anything.” Anspach said. “That’s why he busted up his nose a couple of years ago, he wasn’t paying attention to where the outfield wall was. I just told him we had an option on him, pushed a contract in front of him & he signed it. It was simple, though I had my assistant GM lock his agent in the bathroom just to be safe. Moron.”
Here is a little glimpse into the madness that is Fantasy Baseball and my friends…
The first day of Free Agency for the Rock N’ Jock III league began today at 2 p.m. Several teams made retaining their players a high priority.
Bo Still Rules!
“Keeping our existing roster as in tact as we could was fundamental to our plans this year.” said head coach/general manager Nate Gauthier of Bo Still Rules! “We had one target all through the winter, and that was keeping Pedro Feliz on as our backup third baseman.”
Garret Atkins was relieved. “I was kind of worried that management was going to go after A-Rod or Mike Lowell, and that I would be relegated to a backup role.” said Atkins. “But management came right up to me and said ‘you’re our guy.’ It was kind of weird because I thought maybe they’d dump that waste of space Richie Sexson and move me to first with A-Rod or Lowell at third, but whatever.”
“I’m happy to be back with the club” said an joyful Feliz. “When you warm the bench, it’s always comforting to intimately know the bench you’re sitting on for 9/10th of the season. Like I know where the splintery parts of the bench are, and I avoid them. I wouldn’t have had that kind of peace of mind if I went off to greener pastures. And I’d probably end up being cut by another team.”
I saw this photo and found it vaguely disturbing. I also couldn’t figure out whether Luke or Leia looked prettier…
I ultimately found Leia to be prettier, but Luke’s hair kept him in the game.
Most of us have seen A Christmas Story more times than we can count. It’s one of my favorite Christmas movies, though it remains a distant also-ran behind National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, the single greatest Christmas movie ever. A Christmas Story is a nostalgic piece of Americana that peaks with Ralphie Parker getting his long coveted “Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time” from his father.
You all probably have your own “Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time” gifts that you’ve received through the years. For me it was the Nintendo Entertainment System we received circa 1987 (my brother and I had to share it, but we didn’t mind). While it would be fun to muse on the times we received that one gift that we wanted more than all else, I’d like to instead take a look at those “Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time” presents that weren’t stowed away in a corner just waiting for us to find them. The “Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time” that we never received, and have pined for ever since…
Words can’t properly convey the awe that came over a kid when gazing at the Sears Wish Book at the mother of all playsets: The G.I. Joe U.S.S. Flagg:
The size of the toy alone was staggering. 7.5 feet long, 3.5 feet tall, 2.5 feet wide. Just look at the size of that thing. Those aren’t miniature Skystrikers parked on deck or Rattlers buzzing the control tower – those are the full sized real things, and the Flagg absolutely dwarfs them. It wouldn’t have even fit in my room without removing a bed or two. But that would’ve been OK. I would have gladly slept on the couch or even outside if it meant having this plastic piece of paradise. Though the Flagg cost a hefty $130 (which is the equivalent of $230 in today’s economy), I really think it was the ginormous size that prevented my Mom from buying it for me. That and the fact that one of my cousins would no doubt destroy it within hours of it being assembled. Sorry Chris & Jeff, but I still hold those snapped TIE Interceptor wings against you – I showed you where explode button was and you still broke it! ;)
If, for some reason, I found the Flagg under our tree this Christmas, it would be my definitive Ralphie moment.
Some honorable mention:
So how about you? What was that one present you wanted above all else but never received? Leave a comment of write a post on your own blog. I’m truly interested.